


there's a hole in my soul. can you fill it?

by clairina



Category: Radio 1 RPF
Genre: M/M, nic squared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-20
Updated: 2013-10-20
Packaged: 2017-12-29 23:48:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1011523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clairina/pseuds/clairina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Have you no idea that you're in deep?<br/>I've dreamt about you nearly every night this week<br/>How many secrets can you keep?<br/>'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat<br/>Until I fall asleep</p>
            </blockquote>





	there's a hole in my soul. can you fill it?

“So Pix and I can both do eight...Gellz said she'd be there by nine. Oh and Henry said David can come after all, apparently his appointment got cancelled or something. Dunno...didn't listen... Pix and I are coming over at seven then, yeah?” His mind was running at full speed desperately trying to come up with an excuse why he couldn't make it tonight. That wasn't as easy with three pairs of eyes watching him from the other side of the desk though. He could just say something very unrealistic and then hang up because he had to go back to work. But Aimee wasn't stupid. She definitely was listening and that would tell her that the news were on and after that there were already two songs waiting to be played. So he had at least six to seven minutes to kill before she would let him go. “Dont even try to get out of this, Grimmers.”  
“I didn't even say anything yet, let me talk, woman.” He was still amazed by how well she knew him. He hesitated for one second and she immediately knew what was going on. That wasn't entirely good though, was it? Maybe he should try to find someone new to call his best friend. Someone who couldn't tell every fucking lie he was trying to serve them.  
“Say it then.”  
“I can't come tonight.”  
“Bring him.” And that was exactly what he meant. He had made sure not to tell her when Nicco was coming back to the UK so she wouldn't try to get her nose in. But by now her whole face was buried in their business and she probably already knew more than he did.  
To Nick's luck Fiona had averted her attention again and kept scrolling through Tumblr or Twitter or whatever site she was on while Matt had moved over to the soundboard to press play on the next song. Only Ian's eyes were suspiciously focused on Nick and he didn't like it. At all. Because he was pretty sure Aimee was controlling him with her mind ever since they had started dating.  
“Dunno what you mean. Busy tonight.” Since when was he so bad at lying? Well...he was telling the truth. A little. He was busy. Kind of. Nicco was coming over around four this afternoon and he hadn't seen him since Glastonbury and yeah... he really wanted some time for that. And having Aimee and Pixie over at seven which for them probably meant half five was the last thing Nick wanted. As soon as the words busy tonight had left his lips Matt's eyes shot up too and now he was   
being watched. Intently. Which meant he had to choose his words carefully.  
“Don't be a twat, Nicholas. Bring the bloody boy. You can fuck him all afternoon, just be there at eight and brush your hair.”  
“I'm not going to fuck-...” Yeah, no... brilliant idea, Nick. Wonderful. How was he that stupid? Now they definitely wouldn't pick up on the topic of his call and not at all make fun of it talking in Italian accents for the rest of the day. “I'll ask him. Piss off now. I don't want any of you at my house before half seven.” Yes, he knew he had fucked up because he had three pairs of eager eyes on him when he sighed and listened to Aimee cackling.  
“See ya later, babes. Can't wait to see you and the boyfriend. Byebyeeee.”  
“He's not-” A look at his computer screen told him that he had two minutes and forty-seven seconds left before the song ended. That was an eternity if you had to spend it being interrogated by your fucking co-workers.

“Going out tonight, Nicholas?” Fucking Matt Fincham with his innocent smile and his credibility as a Producer and all that. People thought he was the sane and responsible one of the team? Well, fuck that. He was a nosy little bitch ninety percent of the time and his goal in life seemed to be dropping hints about Nick's personal life.  
“Yes.”  
“Having dinner?” Nick hated it when they worked together. So he just tried to act like he didn't know what they were up to and looked at the screen in front of him like there was something really interesting going on.  
“Yes, Fiona. I'm having dinner tonight. Like every night of my life.” He was going for sarcastic and witty but apparently he had failed judging by the mischievous looks he was getting from every corner of the studio.  
“What are you having? Italian? Some Pizza? Some amore?”  
“Fuck off, Matt.”  
“Oh, amore mio. Someone's treating themselves to some culinary food tonight...”  
“Shut up.” Okay, he didn't entirely hate them for it...maybe it was a little funny. And maybe he had to giggle and blush. Yeah...blush. But he was just really fucking excited and it was not the worst thing to have them pointing that out all the time. It was no secret that he liked the attention, was it? And he certainly didn't have a problem to show off someone as hot as Nicco. Thanks very much.  
He was still thankful for the song ending and forcing everyone to concentrate and accommodate their language again.  
“And that was Miley Cyrus with Can't stop. Love that record, such a tune that...” Of course they all had to snigger and be little children about it. But he just rolled his eyes and continued talking about a documentary he'd seen on the telly last night until the others lost their interest in annoying him with making heart signs with their hands.

  
Okay, so Nicco had texted him twenty minutes ago that he was on the way from the airport. cant wait. x and up until now Nick had pretended that that hadn't made his heart flutter a little. But it had. And he had been rearranging the cushions on his couch, the flowers on the dining table and the fucking books in the shelves for the last five minutes. So yeah. He couldn't really deny it, could he? But he didn't have to yet. That wouldn't be necessary till Aimee and Pixie were in the room telling him how cute they looked as a couple and that they never would've thought that Nick would settle for someone like Nicco.  
But first of all – he hadn't settled for anything. He was a free man. He didn't do relationships. Ever. Because he just wasn't capable of that and if there was someone who should know that it was Aimee. She had witnessed about three hundred relationships going tits up because as soon as he was called a boyfriend he didn't want to be one anymore. He didn't want to give up his freedom to fuck whoever was asking to be fucked and even worse everything his partner did became fucking annoying over night and all he could think about was don't be so fucking clingy which then again led to him going out alone and fucking some random guy to blow off some steam.  
So yeah. He was definitely not going to call Nicco his anything. They were friends who liked to hook up. A lot. And fly out to each other on every possible occasion. And so what he had introduced him to ninety percent of the clique by now? That's what you do with new friends, right? You introduce them so they can be a part of your group. That didn't make him his boyfriend. He had done that with Harry, too.  
Granted, it took him a second to realise that his argument wasn't really supporting his initial statement of them not being an item. Because...Harry. Harry who he hadn't seen or properly talked to for roughly five months now. And who had also occupied every little part of his fucking life up until the day he had left for tour and with that made Nick throw all of his principles into disarray at once. Yeah. Right. He had to stop thinking about that now. Like right now. Because he had sworn not just to himself but Aimee and Pixie and Henry and everyone who'd ever had to listen to him having mental breakdowns about being in love with a bloody popstar every five minutes.  
That was over and done with. They had talked about it and obviously come to the conclusion that Harry was a fucking international superstar. And straight on top of that. So yeah. No being in a relationship with Nick. And that was alright for Nick because that's just how things were and nobody could change that. That was something he could just accept and live with because he was an adult and all that.  
What he couldn't accept was Harry saying he actually wanted Nick, too. He couldn't accept Harry looking at him teary-eyed and babbling how much he wanted to be with him and that he loved him more than anything and saying sorry about a million times. Because that was way too close to what Nick wanted to hear. But of course he had been the adult in that situation because apparently that was his new thing and he had told Harry not to worry because nothing would have to change and he should just go on tour and live the popstar life as much as he could. And Harry had done that with a frown on his face assuring Nick that the first place he'd come to when he was done was Nick's and Nick had nodded along with a heavy heart knowing that presumably every sentence they had said in the last twenty minutes was a lie.  
And so much for his plan to stop thinking about Harry right now because the only thing actually forcing him to stop was the door bell echoing through his house and making Puppy jump up to see who was coming.  
On his way over he tried his best to force the smile from earlier back onto his face or maybe make his heart flutter again or something. But yeah... that wasn't going to happen. So he fake smiled and just repeated Nicco's name over and over again in his head so he wouldn't call him Harry. And with Puppy now scurrying around his feet he witnessed something he wouldn't have expected in a million years.  
He opened the door, saw Nicco smiling at him with his stupid white teeth and brown eyes and tanned skin and then Puppy was shooting forward to jump the by now crouching figure on his doorstep. And then it kind of just happened and Nick's fake smile turned into an honest one and something in his stomach twisted a little and the thoughts of Harry just went away like they had never even been there. By the time Nicco was standing again and leaning forward to kiss Nick he didn't have to remind himself to repeat Nicco's name over and over again so he wouldn't forget it. He did struggle to remember his own though.    
And then it's ten minutes later and Nicco walked past him a while ago and Puppy now followed him around like she didn't even remember who Nick was. And he'd keep that in mind for the next time she'd look at him with those big eyes and wait for him to invite her onto the couch with him. She could ask Nicco then. Which she probably would do and he'd pick her up and yeah... Nick's point definitely didn't work here.  
“What's wrong?”  
“Huh? Nothing. Why?” He hadn't done anything, right? Had he spaced out or something? But he checked and he definitely couldn't spot anything strange only Nicco staring at him from where he had sat down on the couch. Puppy already lying in his lap. Traitor.  
“You've been staring at me...”  
“Right. No...I was just thinking about something. Soz.” Wow. That had been great talking himself out of being a creep and staring. One could think he'd be capable of using his words rather well since he was getting paid for talking but that was definitely not going to happen and if Big Boss Ben Cooper could see him right now he'd be fired in two seconds. But that wasn't his main problem right now. His main problem was sitting in front of him, pretty face turned into a frown and confusion written all over it. And all Nick was trying to do was sort his thoughts out and come up with something that made at least a little sense which was a little hard when everything echoing through your head sounded a lot like your stupid friends calling the hot guy in front of you your boyfriend. It was even harder if you weren't completely repulsed by that. “  
“Will you join me over here eventually or..?”  
“Everyone's going out for dinner tonight. Aimee and Pixie will be here at half seven.” Nick was actually proud to even form a sentence without the word boyfriend in it so he didn't understand why he was still just getting a frown in response. Even the stupid dog was looking up and cocking her head to the side.  
“Right...that's three hours from now. You want me to leave?” What? No. That wasn't really what he'd said. Or was it? There were always loads of things coming out of his mouth he didn't plan to. But that was definitely not what he'd wanted to say and now he really struggled to find out what it was that he wanted to say...But it all somehow sounded like him asking Nicco to be his boyfriend and love him forever and yeah, he'd have to slap Aimee for putting thoughts like that into his brain later.  
“No... I... no. You wanna come? They want you to come.” At some point in his life someone had to explain to him why although he was so fucking fond of this guy and just really wanted him to come out with them tonight and have dinner he still managed to put a stress on the word they and make it sound like he didn't want him there. Like... all my friends want you to come but I couldn't care less... so, yeah. Whatever. I'm too cool for feelings. He had to get a fucking grip and maybe stop being a dick. That would help probably.  
“Do you want me to?” So he wasn't the only one thinking he was being a twat. But that was old news, really. He knew he was. He just didn't know how to turn it off sometimes. But right now he'd just try to go with being honest. It wasn't his favourite thing to do but he couldn't think of something better.  
“Yes?”  
“Alright. Then I will. Are you going to stand there for the next three hours then or can we properly say hello? I didn't really come here to have you staring at me all day. Hoped for something else.” So that had been easy then. If that was how it always went down if you just said what you thought then maybe he'd consider doing that now. Even if he'd just answered a question with a very unsure yes. But he'd take that. It was a start and he could mark the day in his calender because he hadn't tried to escape the situation with a bad joke. And now that Nicco was back to being cheeky and hoping for something else he really didn't have to be awkward anymore because that he knew. Dropping hints and being cheeky and flirty and doing things. He was good at that. And he could just push all those thoughts back for a while and ignore them which wasn't really that hard with stupidly pretty Nicco waiting for you to join him on the couch and then probably take him to your bedroom and well. He could definitely do that.


End file.
